Tuesday, December 3, 2013

Dreams of the One?

I am currently in the middle of finals and I have been confused about my feelings so I thought it was appropriate to write a post.

So recently, a couple weeks ago I started to talk to this girl I met on one of the many dating websites. She seems like an interesting person, we have a lot in common. She has a great personality and we seem to get along, however we still haven't met since she is sick and I am in the middle of the mad rush before finals. We have been texting, talking on the phone and getting to know each other. She kind of seems too good to be true, of course this is hard to fathom since a year ago, I met a girl too good to be true that ended up disappearing. I think she was either crazy, or she was a catfish. Either way, I am pretty untrusting when it comes to meeting someone online, though my latest online crush seems genuine enough. Here lies the problem.

On Thanksgiving last week I received a text from a very old friend, well, sort of a friend, one of those girls that you have always had a crush on, yet we are more or less acquaintances. Well, other than the multitude of times that we almost dated. At least it seems to me and other that we have nearly dated more times than I dare to count. After her dating a complete loser, one of those guys using her, and abusing her, she disappeared for a while. Especially after the restraining order didn't seem to curb his harassment. She wished me a happy Thanksgiving and gave me her new cell phone. Of course this makes sense, as he would call constantly, even without her answering. Lets just say it was bad. Since last I talked to her about 3 months ago, I have contacted her a few times to see is she wanted to hangout, normal stuff for us as "friends" and I never got a response. Of course, that was because she had to change her cell. Either way, I replied with a Happy Thanksgiving and I guess you weren't ignoring me, to which she responded, No I wasn't ignoring you, you know that. I never did respond back. After all, she knew my cell and could have reached out at any point, yet she didn't. Hmm. Of course I would rather move on with my life rather than contemplating that we could work out after all these years. There has always been something about her that I have never been able to shake. So now I am confused and need to vent.

Last night I had a dream about her, which happens fairly often, especially around the time she comes back to me. The conversation in my dream was that she was there, I said something like hi, so your back again. She smiles and says, yes I'm back. I told her that I wasn't surprised since I was talking to someone else. She knew it was true, then I woke up. So what do you make of all of this? I know that I am psychic and clairvoyant, yet I have never been able to figure her or the bizarre relationship that we have. When I think of the perfect girl, I think of her and it has basically been like that since I have met her. So what do I do? Do I put myself out there again so she can disappear again? Do I do nothing and hope she might contact me? Or do I possibly go ahead and meet this girl from online and see what might be there? Oh, the girl is also out of the country for work so we were planning on meeting this weekend. I dunno, I guess when you think that life is going well, life will throw you a curve ball. I'm confused yet I have finals. The story about the girl I have known forever is a very long story, let me just say that when we are together, we are already like family and have always been that way.

Any thoughts anyone?

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